Dating: How To – Your Profile

For many people, the hardest part of starting to date online is figuring out what to put in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a profile page, where each member can write about his or herself, upload a photo (or several) etc. What you write about yourself in the profile is extremely important: second only to the picture in terms of making other members aware of who you are and making them want to contact you.
Many people are keen to start searching for and contacting people as soon as they join a site. As a result, they either leave their profile blank, or write something quickly before beginning their search. This is OK if you’re just having a look around, but if you are serious about finding love online, you should take some time and make sure your profile is a good reflection of who you are. After all, it’s what makes you stand out from the rest of the people on the site.
Here are a few points to keep in mind:
Not too long, not too short
Try to write a profile that is detailed enough to tell people about you, but short enough to leave people wanting more. Writing a full length essay is a waste of time as most people wouldn’t bother reading it all. If someone did read it through and contacted you, you probably wouldn’t have anything left to talk about!
Be yourself
It’s easy to lie when writing a profile, but more difficult to follow through once you meet someone. If your profile says you’re 6’4” when you’re really 5’11”, your cover will be blown as soon as you turn up for your date. Also, starting a relationship with a lie is a sure way to get off to a bad start.
Unfortunately, even people who are honest and well-meaning sometimes lie unintentionally in their profile, by trying to write it in a way that they think would make them more attractive to other people. If you want to attract a likeminded person, you have to be honest about who you are, your hobbies and interests etc.
Don’t be too demanding
Many people use their profiles to list the qualities they would like their ideal match to have. There is nothing wrong with that, but make sure you balance this with information about yourself. You don’t want to come across as writing a ransom note.
Too much information
Avoid mentioning past disappointments and bad break-ups in your profile; this is not what the space is for. Think: do you really want this to be the first thing people see when they look you up? Don’t let yourself be defined by negative aspects of your personality and bad experiences of the past.
Make it funny
Using humour is a good way to liven up a profile and give people a glimpse into your personality. Some of the most successful profiles are the ones that simply make people laugh. Including a joke you find funny is good, as long as you make sure you write something about yourself in the profile as well.
Be original
Anyone can write “I have a good sense of humour”, but not anyone could make you laugh. When writing about yourself, don’t just use a list of adjectives. Try to go deeper and give people examples of what you actually mean. A good way of doing this is starting off with a list of adjectives and then using each one as a starting point for a few lines of text.
Upload a picture
Even the least shallow people want to know who they’re talking to. Not having a photo on your profile will make many people ignore you completely. Some people even specify in their search that they only want to speak to people whose picture appears on the site. Don’t worry about your looks. Different people have different tastes and not everyone expects to meet a movie star or a supermodel online. A clear headshot of you smiling is all it takes to seriously increase the amount of responses you get.
Be consistent
Make sure your profile, your screen name and your picture all match the impression you want to give. If you are a woman looking for a serious relationship, calling yourself “SexKitten” and uploading a semi-nude picture of yourself, is not likely to attract the kind of man you’re looking for. A man looking for a wife, should probably not use a username that hints about how good he is in bed.
Remember: your profile is the first (and often last) impression you will make to potential online matches. Make it count.
Well, after 4 years of reading far in excess of 10,000 profiles of men and women searching for a partner through online dating services, I’ve laughed at my fair share of poorly written introductions…
Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured our attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you wish to get lots of reactions to your online dating service advertisement, otherwise why would you bother joining a site, and paying a fee to meet new people?
If that is the case, then make sure you avoid the following 3 mistakes at all costs:
1. “I May Be the one you’re Seeking For”
This may be the case. However, by employing this combination of words anywhere for your online dating service profile, you aren’t telling me, or your potential suitor, anything new…
What this line does say to someone checking you out is that the online dating service profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. Tell people what gets your eyes twinkling or even what REALLY gets you up in the morning – and don’t say it’s your alarm clock, either. Now is the time to let your passions really shine through…
2. “I’m the one Your Mother Warned You About”
This is, from my research in any case, virtually the most overused phrase in an opening line for online dating service profiles. True, it’s the generic option of some of the larger sites (such as Lavalife or even True) – if your profile is awaiting approval, this tag line will show up while waiting for the a-okay…
To avoid this, come up with something a bit more unique and original. But what if you aren’t sure how to do this? Well, it’s not hard to take a look at your competition in the online dating service field, so why not do a quick search and see what everyone else is doing?
Reading other people’s description of themselves could just get your creative juices flowing. At the very least, it’ll explain what everyone else is saying about themselves – and what key phrases and words you should avoid in turn…
3. Glaring Spelling or even Grammatical Mistakes
This tip might seem childish, or even trite – but its critically important. While chatting with someone online, you may make a few spelling mistakes that a potential suitor will find annoying. However until you get to that stage with someone, noone should know that you’ve got dyslexia, or just can’t spell worth beans…
It shows a lot to a potential suitor while they peruse the online dating services that someone has taken the time to spell check their document. Hell, get a friend to proof read it for you if want just in case you’ve missed something important…
However if you can’t take the time to write something legible, virtually all people perusing the online dating service websites will assume you won’t have time to bother doing other, even more important tasks. And when you only have two or three of seconds to make that first impression before someone clicks on another person – each and every detail counts…
A profile is an online representation of yourself so why not represent the best parts of you? There are four areas of a profile that you should keep in mind: honesty, creativity, research, writing. By mastering these areas, you will be able to write an excellent and self-elevating profile that can capture anyone’s attention.
Part One: Honesty
Always be honest with the readers of your profile; remember that you and the others on the site are searching for that special someone–how can a relationship grow when there is deceit from the beginning?
Speak candidly about who you are and what you are looking for. Then, at least you will know that, when someone messages you, they are genuinely interested. Putting up a pretense will only summon people who are interested in your lies; this will not build a solid relationship.
Being honest doesn’t mean to be sell yourself short; you don’t have to dwell on your faults and misgivings. Showcase your good qualities (just don’t exaggerate).
Part Two: Creativity
Nothing can turn a potential relationship sour more than a dull profile. There are thousands upon thousands of people looking for the exact same thing you are: a genuine connection. You must be able to catch their attention.
Try to avoid using phrases like Looking for Mr. Perfect? or In Search Of That Special Lady? or descriptions like hard-working?, romantic? and attractive?. These are all cliche and overdone. Spice your profile up with original ideas!
Show off your strengths. Give your readers anecdotes or narratives that display you in a good light.
Get yourself a thesaurus. As silly as this may sound, a thesaurus can help you avoid using words that have been used too many times before.
Do not use letters to describe yourself; for example, SWF (single white female) can mean a variety of things to a variety of people. Don’t limit yourself to this.
Part Three: Research
You know what kind of relationship you want; whether it be a friend, a casual date, or something as deep as a marital partner, you have a clear picture in your mind of how far you are willing to go. Seek out people with that same goal.
Write a profile that will appeal to the kind of person you’re after; the only way they can find you is if you help them. Check out other profiles for ideas.
If you receive interest with your profile but still can’t seem to find that right person, then go do some online window-shopping. Scan through profiles, find some that catch your attention, and start messaging. They don’t all have to come to you.
Part Four: Writing
So, you’ve gathered your information and you have a clear idea of what you want out of this site; however, your writing seems a little…lifeless. Be careful of this! By paying attention to the three steps before you, you should be able to write a profile that is distinctly you.
This is an example of what not to do: I’m a SBM looking for a SF. Good looking, funny. Message me. Eyes are going to glaze over; you cannot limit yourself like this. It will only hurt you.
Spice it up: I am a 22-year-old female, blessed with long, blonde hair and big, brown eyes. I’m short, only 5’4, but what I lack in size, I make up for in spirit. I am looking for someone that can keep up with me; come and get me, boys. She gives a description and a challenge, all within a few sentences ”you don’t have to be long-winded to get the point across.
A good profile can bring you all of the attention you want and lead you to a successful relationship; follow these steps to what you want.
When putting together your dating profile, avoid pick up lines like the above. I have seen dating profiles with these kinds of subject lines. You have to be a lot more romantic than the above line. The above subject line is too raw. You have to bring it down a notch.
Here are some tips to help you when putting together your dating profile.
1.Do not use negativity in your profile. This is a big turn off. “You don’t need to have car keys to drive me crazy.” Or, “I may not look like much, but I am drinking milk.” “If you want me, come and get me.” Ridiculous lines in a dating profile do not work. You have to be positive in your profile because you want to make a great first lasting impression. You do not want to come across as a jerk. If you use the above lines, you will come across as a jerk.
2.Build curiosity in your profile. A terrific subject line could be, “Have you ever been to Fogo De Chao?” This is curiosity. You want that man or women to click on to read more. A dater would be curious to know what is Fogo De Chao? (Between you and I, this is a fabulous Brazilian steak house.) You can go on from there and add more. Here’s another. “Have you ever been to Utopia? Let’s experience our two minds together as one.”
3.People like to hear a short story about you in your profile. Give one just a little taste of who you are. “I am a fire fighter and I am also working on pursuing my passion to open a sports bar while still working as a fire fighter.” Daters want to read details about you. Give it to them. This will let a dater know that you are going places and you have goals.
4.Always be honest in your dating profile and display real photos of you. If you lost some weight or even gained some, have an up to date photo showing how you look today.
5.Never say your name is Wayne. Do not use your real name. Come up with a screen name that stands out and shows a little bit of your character. Also make sure you capitalize each letter in your screen name and never put numbers behind your name.”IAmForReal”,“GorgeousBrownEyes”, etc.You should get the point.
6.People like to be with winners. Bring out the self confidence in you. Walk the walk. If you are self confident in who you are, then you should not have a problem here at all.
7.Make sure you put in your profile what you can offer and the kind of person you are looking for. These tips should help in getting many responses to your dating profile. Get noticed….

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