Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass Go without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:
ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.
FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.
RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.
TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.
COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.
GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.
SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the good times. Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to hold on to – your bridge to romance.
So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.
Only twenty years ago, people would casually stroll the neighbourhood, stop and chat with each other or walk down the street and greet you cordially. Nowadays people walk at a very fast pace and for the most part just walk past you looking at the ground lost in their own thoughts. It seems less people will say hello to a stranger.
So it seems to a lesser degree with family and friends. Have we in this society lost some of our ability to communicate? Are we so involved in our own problems that we just don’t really see people anymore?
There is a misconception that if you are talking to someone that you are communicating. This is not necessarily so. There is a difference between talking at someone and actually communicating. Talking at someone and not allowing an exchange of ideas does not promote a harmonious situation or solutions to a situation. For real communication to occur, an exchange of ideas needs to occur for understanding and possible resolutions.
Our society today its all about anything that makes things quick and easy. Unfortunately this does not always work, especially if you are trying to resolve something.
Take for example a married couple. Communication is so important for long-term relations. Without it, love just goes away. If a couple has not had real communication for a very long time, this can happen.
One thing I have noticed is that people tend to put all their attention on the things we don’t like in our spouse, friend or co-worker. If this is all you can put your attention on then you are doomed to a separation and ill feelings to that individual.
Here is something that I would suggest you try, no matter how bad your relationship is. We of course all have baggage no matter who you are. There is no such thing as a perfect person. So that said, knowing that we all have something that will annoy people, I suggest that you find something to admire about that individual. Everyone has good or strong points so if you start to focus on that instead of all things bad you may be amazed to find, oh my god, there is good there too.
This is what you saw in the first place that drew you to that person. If you do this enough, your feelings will revert to the original way you felt about that person. This is what I mean about building bridges, not walls. It is very easy to build walls but if you learn to find what is good in people, you will build bridges instead. How fine is that!
0. The coming of the prophet 1. Love 2. Marriage 3. Children 4. Giving 5. Eating and Drinking 6. Work 7. Joy and Sorrow 8. Houses 9. Pets 10. Clothes 11. Buying and Selling 12. Crime and Punishment 13. Laws 14. Freedom 15. Reason and Passion 16. Pain 17. Self-Knowledge 18. Teaching 19. Friendship 20. Talking 21. Time and Space 22. Good and Evil 23. Prayer 24. Pleasure 25. Beauty 26. Religion 27. Death 28. Forms Of Existence 29. Real vs Virtual 30. The Farewell