Most relationships start out in a way that its like there’s fireworks everytime the two people are together. Both of you just cant get enough of each other, you enjoy the times you spend together and cant wait to do it again. There is some kind of chemistry developing between the two of you that just seems to bind and fuse the two of you together the more you spend more time with each other. Sparks just seem to fly when you get together and more and more people tend to notice the chemistry between the two of you.
Everybody tends to say that a two person have chemistry when they are fit for each other. Its more than just a cliché since chemistry cant really be described, its just the way two persons seem to just click. You know you have chemistry with another person when your knees start shaking everytime you are near her, you begin to stammer, your stomach feels like a haven for butterflies and you get all sweaty all the time. Chemistry could be another word for love but in some cases, the chemistry might be gone but love could still be present. That’s why some people would like to revive the chemistry in their relationship because they still love the person and would like to make the relationship better; like that way it used to be when they fell in love with one another.
The rush one gets when they are in love, it’s like having a triple shot of espresso. It’s like your always high and on top of the world. Your heart is racing everytime your near your partner and you develop powerful feelings that are just constantly nagging for attention, you cant explain what it is, but its there. But after a certain period of time, some relationships get past the chemistry and the momentum wanes, you have gone past the honeymoon period. Many have strived to get their chemistry back; here are some tips on how to get your chemistry back.
Chemistry can either be through physical and emotional. Physical chemistry deals with the way we are attracted to our parents on the physical level. In some relationships, the partners tend to be too relaxed and comfortable with their relationship that they have a tendency to let go of their physical looks. When this happens, one partner may lose their physical attraction and their physical chemistry as well. Some cases have shown that physical chemistry may also be about the great sex they have, when this type of physical chemistry is forgotten and the sex becomes too regular and boring, the physical chemistry may be lost. Loss of attention to the physical attributes and to the physical contact is what causes these problems, try to get yourself back in shape and try to look good for your partner, this will show that you don’t take your partner for granted and you still want to look good for them. In regards to sex, try to be adventurous, think up of ways which can spicen up your sexual activities to make them more exciting and adventurous for both of you. This will rekindle the physical chemistry that has decreased over the years.
With emotional chemistry, this could be because we have grown tired with our partner because of the routine becoming too routinely. Refresh your emotional chemistry for each other by taking in a new perspective about each other. Take vacations, act out your fantasies, be open to one another and find a solution on how to bring the sparks back to each other. Try to discover what the both of you want out of the relationship and build on that. Be open to new ideas and never contradict. The less fight the better it is to strengthen the ties that bind you together. If you truly love one another, you will find out and everything in how to get the chemistry back in your relationship.
Creating Intimacy to Keep the Flame Burning
It is true that intimacy and relationship are two very different words. They have different meanings and present totally different concepts. The tie that binds them to each other, however, is the fact that a relationship needs intimacy to survive. Intimacy is the substance which enables the people involved in a relationship to enjoy each other all the more.
Intimacy is defined as the condition of being private or personal. This encompasses everything that involves close association or familiarity. Two people are intimate when they are able to share with each other the innermost and most essential parts of themselves without any kind of inhibition. It is only through creating intimacy that two people are able to know each other through and through.
The inability of people involved in relationships to create intimacy results to the creation of distance. This is the reason why creating intimacy is important even from the start. How to create intimacy is something that each and every person involved in a relationship should know how to do, for creating intimacy is the foundation that would forge the connection between two people n a relationship more strongly than ever.
Creating intimacy involves consistent attention for one another and the relationship itself. It also involves respect for each another and the relationship in particular. Regular, healthy verbal communication is always an important factor in establishing openness, and physical contact is as essential in creating intimacy and closeness as other factors.
Creating intimacy also involves regular expression of caring and tenderness so that each one in the relationship may know how important he or she is to the other. And because the expression of feelings is equally telling, it becomes one of the most important things that would create intimacy and bind people in a relationship together.
Because creating intimacy means creating familiarity and openness, it is a must for people involved in a relationship to become honest and straightforward with each other. Saying and doing what is truthful and honest for both of them would help a lot, and acceptance of each others personality and characteristics would foster an understanding between the two of them like no other.
To create intimacy, people in a relationship should also have an understanding of how their families of origin would affect the relationship itself. This is essential, too, in understanding the behavior of each other in connection with the atmosphere he or she grew up in. Then again, it is important for partners to take time to listen to what each other thinks and feels. Living in the present and envisioning a life together in the future would create chemistry that they could both use to become not as separate individuals but as a team ready to battle all odds together.
Lastly, it is always important for people concerned about creating intimacy to promote the personal growth of one another. It should always be remembered that those involved in relationships are there to complement each other in every way. The relationship is the medium which enables people to learn this simple truth. Creating intimacy means sharing ones own person with his or her partner the best possible way.
Peoples inability to create intimacy in any kind of relationship creates distance, the worm capable of eating the union slowly away. It is always important for those involved in relationships to try their best efforts to create intimacy, because it is what would keep the flame burning for quite a while.
Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the original closeness that existed in a relationship starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and the willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to constantly reconnect. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep the love alive.
Step 1: Give up dead routines
After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what their partner is feeling, that it doesn’t matter if they come late for a date, don’t look as good as they used to, or decide to spend more and more time out with friends. However, it is crucial to realize that there are many small ways in which we sabotage relationships. Unless two people feel cared for and valued by one another, it is easy for the feelings of love to fade away.
Break into routines. Snap out of ruts. Take time to plan exciting, romantic, delicious times to spend together. Even if it’s just for a little while. Dedicate time to the relationship that nothing can interrupt. This is a sacred time for the two of you, and during it do what makes both of you feel most fulfilled.
Step 2: Take Charge of How You Perceive Your Partner Each Day
The good feelings between partners are often heightened by the way in which they view one another. Do you view him as a hero? Someone you can look up to and respect? Or are you mostly dwelling upon his/her faults? After a relationship has gone on for a while it is easy to begin to view one another as ordinary. This is a sure-fire technique for putting out any fire that might exist. Remember, when you first fell in love, you only saw the best about that person and focused on how wonderful they were. If you want to keep the love alive, keep that going consciously.
Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings in. Read it from time to time. Dedicated a certain time each day to the relationship and what is possible between the two of you.
Exercise A How You See Your Partner
Take some time and write down a description of how you see your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write this down without censoring your thoughts and feelings.
Then, write down how you saw him when you first met, and how you felt about him then. See how your feelings of closeness are affected by the way you are perceiving the person today. Realize that how you perceive a person is totally within your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is of no avail.
Consciously view your partner in a way that is similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this, and begin responding in kind.
Exercise B Stop Pushing Him/Her Away
There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that push our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a great deal to short circuit it. Take a little while to write down ways in which you push him/her away. This is not to blame yourself, but to become aware of the times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but putting on the brakes.
Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you’ve pushed him away) and do the opposite. For example, rather than criticizing him in public, say nice things about him with friends. A few small actions can have huge effects. .
Step 2: Understanding Hidden Expectations
There is nothing that can cause us to disconnect from each other as much as expectations that have been unfulfilled. We all enter relationships with many kinds of expectations and dreams, some we are aware of, others not. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than our expectations which are not being met.
Take a moment to become aware of what you are expecting of your partner. Is it possible for him to fulfill these expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship?
More often than not, it is our unfulfilled expectations, not the other person, which make us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, a crucial step is making sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you’re with. Also take time to see if anyone can fulfill them? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you are still carrying with you?
Exercise C - Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams
Become aware off which expectations of yours your partner does meet. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find a way to feel grateful for what you are receiving? Sometimes just deciding that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow the love to re-ignite once again.
Then, let him know that he’s making you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and to hear that they are meaningful to you.
Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner
When these steps are taken, you will not only be more connected, but you will be with your partner because there is no other place you want to be. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one of choice. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, of knowing they are the one’s we want to be with, is the culmination of the reconnecting and romance we’ve found.
Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write down and express the ways in which you wish to recommit to your partner, you can write down and express the aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this on an on-going basis, we not only keep the love and relationship fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with the person, what our part is in the relationship, and the joy and romance that is possible for us to have forever.
For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below –
Selection Of Partner – Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong. We may have nothing in common and our values and goals may be very different. With bad selection from the beginning, no relationship can survive for long. One of the main reasons of wrong partner selection may be hurry in selection of partner and inattention to the true nature of the selected partner.
Communication – bad communication is another reason for break ups. Partners are unable to tell about true feelings to each other for many reasons including fear of conflict. Sometimes, non-verbal communication is made which fails in sending the message.
Expectations – High expectations in a relationship is another reason. We expect that after we fall in to a relationship, we will become happy, satisfied and feel good at all the times. That does not happen. This creates frustration and leads to blame on the relationship.
Sustaining relationships is difficult. It gives joy, but demand lot of efforts. Relationship is no solution to all our life problems. Sometimes it creates its own problems. For a relationship that lasts, we have to take care of all the aspects of the relationship.
0. The coming of the prophet 1. Love 2. Marriage 3. Children 4. Giving 5. Eating and Drinking 6. Work 7. Joy and Sorrow 8. Houses 9. Pets 10. Clothes 11. Buying and Selling 12. Crime and Punishment 13. Laws 14. Freedom 15. Reason and Passion 16. Pain 17. Self-Knowledge 18. Teaching 19. Friendship 20. Talking 21. Time and Space 22. Good and Evil 23. Prayer 24. Pleasure 25. Beauty 26. Religion 27. Death 28. Forms Of Existence 29. Real vs Virtual 30. The Farewell