Definition of Infidelity
According to the dictionary, infidelity means unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, and in layman terms this simply means that your girlfriend / wife or your boyfriend/husband could be cheating on you for someone else. No marriage, no matter how rich, religious, political or powerful, is immune to the threat of unfaithfulness, so say experts who give advice on how to survive infidelity.
Infidelity in a marriage or in relationship is a bitter pill to swallow. Not simply because we strive to make our relationships thrive and survive in an all-challenging world, but because nobody, including you, can live along successfully with this lie! Infidelity in relationship can happen to you!.
Relationship infidelity is cruel and shows no mercy to the one left out in the cold. It doesn’t really matter if you are married or attached, it is a symbol of the worst destruction to your life and soul which is yet to unleash to the unexpecting you. This cheating infidelity is a symbolic of having your deepest fears and doubts exposed.
Do you know that there was a poll conducted to the Americans during the President Clinton’s intern scandal? These infidelity statistics obtained were somewhat shocking
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations or infidelity adultery outside their marriage sometime in the past.
About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage, according to Monogamy Myth, Therapist Peggy Vaugn.
5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in a sexual infidelity survey conducted last year.
17 percent divorces in the United States are caused by marital infidelity.
Is your lover playing cheat on you at the time of reading this?
If you were to confront your lovers at point blank, it will definitely jeopardize your current relationship. No matter what sort of hardship you are facing now suspecting your lover of relationship infidelity, there are often the smarter ways on how you would determine your case to be true. Surely there must be some ways to put your mind at ease for once and for all if you suspect that your spouse is cheating you for another man.
How to catch a cheater
Here are the smart ways to detect signs of wife infidelity. Remember, the future of your relationship could depend on your ability to spot the telltale signs in time.
Sudden good appearance:
First impressions always count. Remember when the days you met each other, you would normally go all out to dress up, being sensitive to your attire/wardrobe, even your personal grooming to that you would look nice in front of each other? Well, the fact that these things do happen to each if not most of us, it is often the best telltale sign on whether your partner is trying to impress or attract someone.
Is your partner treating you differently?
When your partner is involved with someone else, it is often than not your partner will start to treat you differently from how he/she used to. Even on the subconscious level, this could be detrimental to your current relationship. Hence, it is easy for you to pick up this alarming sign when the time comes.
A new mood of conversation?
Let’s say your wife used to talk about cooking and spend most of her time in front of her cookery and gadgets, then suddenly you notice a sudden swing of mood in her. She now talks about grooming, talks about cars, or even start to dabble with wine or alcohol which she never used to. Well, ask yourself, could there be someone else who might be influencing her? Could the stuff that she normally talks about, places that she normally goes relate to the person she’s hiding from you?
Let’s face it. How many of us who are working for people would rather stay in the office till wee hours than slouching ourselves in front of the idiot box (TV)? Your partner would normally drives back home at close to 6 o’clock in the evening. Eventually at 7 o’clock, 8.30 pm, 10 or even not going back home? Hmmm..it is a well known understanding that your lover’s working habits will undoubtly change as her affair unfolds. Be on the lookout for work-related tell tale signs.
No time! No time! No time!
Just as infidelity cost your partner money, it may as well ended up causing your lovers time. Remember that we are all granted by God only 24 hours a day. So it’s not surprising that your partner would try to steal the time away from you just to be with her lover.
Travelling for business is the most common excuses for the cheating lovers as well as being the best getaway from you. Even if your lover really on business traveling, it is often the best practice to afford a cheating lover a chance to literally sway away from you.
Telephone conversion behaviour
More often than not, illicit affairs often take place through the phone. Many foolish lovers take the risk of calling their partners at home or having their partners call them at home. Much to my surprise, many husbands ended up discovering their partners’ infidelity either directly or indirectly by the telephone.
Your dwindling sex life
Let’s face it. The moment your partner goes after her secret lover, do you think she might be interest in you? What more in having sex with you? God knows how attractive the secret lover to her. So it’s crucial for you to be on alert for any type of changes or frequency of your sex life together.
Smell like an animal!
Each person has his or her own unique smell or taste. At first, you might not notice it, but when the time comes, you would feel completely different smell or taste. Remember that every lovers out there would do anything to make their first impression better? It could be their bodily smell or cologne which may attract to each other which is the reason behind the change of smell. Friendly advice, be on close guard. This is a warning sign for you.
Invasion of your home
It’s quite common for your partner to end up with her lover in your home. When this happens, pay close attention to all the items or belongings which were left behind. Scour and collect these crucial evidence in everywhere in your house that you could possible imagine.
Gifts but not from you?
At times you would end up finding a gifts which were not from you. Look out for these telltale signs especially near Valentine’s day or Christmas. If they are not from you, then who else?
What does it tell you that all of a sudden you see your partner having an interest in using the computer? What else does this indicate when she’s using more emails than she is talking to you? Chances are this may as well indicate the involvement of her online or cyber affair. Don’t take this lightly as most of the time these affairs can be detrimental to your marriage. Emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and could progress from cyberspace to physical reality.
Sudden spike of handphone bills.
With the advent of technology advancement in telecommunications, it’s no wonder that life has been easier for both you and your partner to communicate at any point of time. But beware, this could also be a great opportunity for your partner to stay in touch of her secret lover.
The physical evidence waiting to be found.
Most of the time the physical evidence indication of your lover’s secret life can be easily found in front of your eyes. When your partner is not available, check her handbags, her wastepaper basket, her filling cabinets, drawers, or any other sort of place you could think of. Keep your eyes open. With luck, you could find yourself a new sets of physical evidence of infidelity you can find.
How would your partner behave in front of others?
Studies and reports have indicated that most men will likely have an affair with someone he already knows, either from the women he normally comes in contact with, or even business associates. Try to be observant, as at times your partner may behave strangely in front of these people.
If you have your suspicions that your partner is having an affair, but for your own peace of mind you need to be sure about the infidelity, investigation is an option but, before you go out and hire a private investigator, make sure that you know what you are getting yourself in to.
There is no doubt that infidelity is one of the hardest things anyone ever has to go through and the period when the first suspicions develop is one of the worst. The not knowing, just wondering where your partner is and what they are doing plays havoc with the mind and trying to decide what to do is painful.
There are many options to catch a cheating spouse and trying to wade through them can be daunting but you need to be sure that before your infidelity investigation gets under way you have chosen the right option for you.
When choosing the route of private investigator one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to tell your partner that they are being investigated. Often it is in the heat of the moment and not something that was meant to come out but it does happen, in fact it happens a lot. People aren’t always so stupid as to let slip to their spouses but find it difficult not to confide in their friends, colleagues or family.
Infidelity is something that is difficult and for some people impossible to cope with alone but once you decide to confirm your suspicions of the infidelity, investigation through a private investigator is your chosen path, and the initial steps have been taken, you must be sure that you can go it alone.
No one ever means to break a confidence but it is so easily done, just one slip of the tongue and it’s all over, the investigation is sabotaged. If you decide to go for it make sure you are able to keep quiet, not just at the start but through the whole investigation even if early feedback appears to confirm what you originally thought you have to be able to keep quiet right to the end. You can’t confide in a friend and you can’t confront your spouse, you can’t even change in the way you act towards your partner.
If you think you are up to it then your first step is to hire a licensed private investigator. The investigator, once instructed will basically follow your spouse and monitor their activities. They will gather evidence, if there is any to be had, as proof of what is happening. A guide to timescales is often given but it can only be a guide, the length of time it takes is all down to how frequently your partner meets with the ‘other person’ if they exist and how much time and money you want to throw at the investigation.
Evidence generally comes in the form of photographs but can also be from recording devices planted in a person’s home, office or car. Whatever the approach it can prove a lengthy and costly process.
People who are having an extramarital affair are usually discreet and go to great lengths not to get caught cheating on their partners. Infidelity investigation therefore involves someone spending long hours parked outside your house, a hotel, a restaurant or your partner’s office just in the hope that they are in the right place at the right time.
Be sure this is the path for you before you hire an investigator or else you could pin your hopes on something that is going to fall at the first hurdle!
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