Unstoppable Rapport In 30 Seconds.
Stop a moment and ask yourself this: has a new employee ever passed you up for a promotion? How can it be, you query yourself, that the new upstart was promoted when everyone else in the company tells you that you deserved the promotion? The new employee did not have your track record for success, did not have the necessary credentials, and wasn’t even close to matching your company loyalty!
Frustrated with the lack of answers, you attempt to obtain answers from management, which only ignites more frustration because they cannot explain it logically. Perturbed and discouraged you resort back to your old patterns of long work hours and hard work, in the hopes that one day all your hard work will be noticed, while you watch the new employee move up the company ladder with tremendous ease.
What do these “fast-tracking” employees have that lands them promotions, allows them to negotiate obstacles with ease, and charms the boss into giving them whatever they want? Do these employees hypnotize their supervisors by waving a watch in front of his or her eyes? Well, in a way…yes! A few employees have learned subtle communication methods that cause their supervisors to be instantly suggestible and receptive to covet influence.
The subtle communication skills that fast-tracking employees use don’t influence their supervisors on the conscious level as much as on the unconscious level. Need proof that fast-tracking employees can influence their supervisors on the unconscious level? Here’s how to do it. When the opportunity arises, simply ask a supervisor who has just given an employee a promotion, a raise, or special role within the company his rationale for the decision. If the supervisor can give you three good reasons for his decision, he probably has not been influenced at the unconscious level; this boss did his homework truly evaluated the various candidates for the job. However, if he cannot give you bona fide reasons for his decision or if he gets mad at you for questioning his judgment-it is likely that he had been unconsciously influenced by the charisma of the lucky person he had just promoted.
Now ask yourself: do you already want to learn what these fast-tracking employees know about unconscious communication? Are you desirous to learn the secrets of charm and charisma that can get you that job or promotion? Then check into Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. They combined different theories of language and neurology to form methods that have the potential to influence people at the unconscious level. I have summarized a few of the many amazing techniques that NLP has developed.
1.) Weaving Rapport by Mirroring:
Building rapport with your supervisor is more than talking about the same movie you saw over the weekend. Rapport building includes matching all your supervisor’s body posture, facial expressions, energy levels, humor, styles, words, and gestures. It can also include matching breathing, inflection voice tone, and language patterns. At the advanced levels it also includes matching values, beliefs, and objectives. Matching is not mimicking your supervisor’s behavior, matching involves adopting similar patterns into your own style so that they appear natural versus mimicked.
One of NLP’s theories is that the mind and body are all part of the same system; therefore, if you match your supervisor’s verbal and non-verbal communication patterns, you are matching his or her thinking patterns-the highest form of rapport that you can establish.
Rapport is extremely important in business because business decisions are rarely reached on the value of technical merit alone; more often than not, favorable business decisions are developed between those who have developed a great deal of rapport.
Remember this overriding rule: we like those who are like ourselves. We trust those who exude similarity with ourselves. The cliche “opposite’s attract” has never been farther than the truth. Let me prove it to you. Think of your best friend. Call to mind his many qualities. Examine them well. Give yourself a minute to do this.
Done? What have you observed? Of course!!! Your best friend shares many of your habits, mannerisms, dreams, ambitions…! Now you have the secret of getting along with anybody (not just your best friend!) Build rapport, now, by creating an apparent similarity between you and the other person. It’s the secret called Mirroring.
2.) Advanced Rapport:
Want to take that charisma the extra mile? Let’s talk about the arcane art of ANCHORING.
Anchoring involves placing a positive feeling into your supervisor’s memory about you. By definition anchoring is the association of something seen, touched, heard, smelled, or tasted, with a specific memory or sensation. When you hear an old love song you and your 1st girlfriend shared, strong emotions come rushing back… even though a decade may have elapsed. This is anchoring: you anchored that specific melody with fond old memories of love.
Now let’s bring this to the business environment.
We all have people in our workplaces that cause us to cringe each time we see them or come into contact with them in meetings. People who cause us to wince have created a negative emotion anchored in our unconscious memory. As a fast-tracking employee, you cannot afford to create a negative emotion in your supervisor’s memory. It is your goal to anchor positive emotions of yourself in their minds. In other words, you want your supervisor to associate you with favorable emotions.
In order to anchor, you simply use two very special gestures when you converse with people: gesturing away from yourself, and gesturing towards yourself. Gesture away from yourself whenever you mention something negative. Examples would be a death in the family, a salary cut, losing a job. On the other hand, whenever you discuss something positive, gesture towards your chest. For instance, you may be discussing a recent golfing victory of your supervisor, and as you praise his achievement, you subtly gesture towards your chest. In both cases of gesturing away and towards yourself, ensure that every movement is natural and spontaneous.
Here’s how it works. On the subconscious level, the mind hears something positive and sees the subtle self-pointing gestures. It then creates an association of positive emotion with you. Over time the positive emotions associated with you will be anchored into your supervisor’s unconscious memory. Your supervisor will think you’re such a swell guy to be with and won’t even know why. Try this with strangers and observe how quickly you draw them in!
The aforementioned methods should help you to hypnotize your supervisor without using a watch on a string. If you would like to know more about NLP and unconscious communication, I recommend joining our forum (it’s free) and reading up on all the articles!
Unstoppable Rapport In 30 Seconds.