Choosing an Online Dating Site
First of all, every new dating site starts out with tens or hundreds of thousands fake profiles! Those profiles are for sale at public domain. I know this because I – when I was working as a professional website builder for a decade – have been creating dating sites, and all my colleagues did the same thing the same way. That is how all dating site webmasters work, and no exceptions, not even the religious dating sites!
How else could they start-up not empty-handed? All those fake profiles stay in their database till the end of times. And if there are not enough new real profiles coming in, then other batches of fake profiles get imported. Have you ever seen a new dating site with zero profiles?
Why else don’t you get responses from these wonderful supermen & superwomen from planet Krypton? Answer: they are not real! Don’t fall into the trap taking automated responses for real!
But suppose, suppose you are lucky and encounter some pretty real dating site, now what?
You’ve been looking for just the right person to explore a relationship with but you can’t seem to find them. Going to social get-togethers and saying yes to your friends’ set-ups have been fun, but they aren’t offering the kind of person you’d like to explore a long term future with.
Online dating is a way that you may be able to expand the pool of potential relationship opportunities. If you’ve watched any television lately you know there are many sites available offering relationship advice and possible connections, but which is the best for you. Each of us is, of course, a little different so consider these thoughts as you go about deciding which online dating site will work for you.
It would be safe to say that just about everybody has heard about identity theft in today’s society. Even before you begin the process of online dating, and accepting advice on dating, you should be aware that as soon as you enter some piece of information, and hit “return” ,that information is out there never to be taken back. Right from the very start you should be absolutely sure that you want that piece of information available to the world.
If a site asks for… just don’t
As you investigate the dating sites out there know rule number one; if a site asks for your identity number (social security number) do not give it over, look for another site. If a site asks for a telephone number; do not give it over, look for another site. If a site asks for your street address; do not give it over, look for another site.
Decide whether you would like to pay a fee for the use of an online dating service and the dating tips that they will give. There are many good sites out there that offer great match opportunities and relationship advice for free. The overall services that the pay sites may offer could be more numerous then the free sites but that does not necessarily mean that they have a better success rate.
The benefit of services really depends upon how selective you would like to be in your search for the right person. Each site available has a certain set of services that they offer. These services are for you to select your match and to get to know that match. Selecting a site that offers a lot of services depends on what makes you comfortable in getting to know the other person. Some of the services offered include: social groupings, photo, age, sex preference, regional groupings, advice on dating and other preferences.
Getting to know somebody online is one thing but meeting them for the first time in person or over the phone is quite another. Check to see if the site has a procedure where you can take the next step with a certain amount of safety built in. For example; can you speak with your online contact over the phone without either of you knowing the phone number of the other person?
Check out the membership of the online dating site. In many instances, the site will open itself up to a little poking around. See if the membership has a good representation in your region and if they are largely; young, older, divorced, professional or religious etc. Oddly, international representation can be a good indicator of a sites’ validity. Although there are exceptions, if a site has a large international representation you may want to be a bit more careful about your selection process. This is because some of the matches may have ulterior motives. These matches will also require a few international dating tips.
Ease of use
You’ll just have to figure this one out for yourself. Every site will be set up a little different from the others in how they are structured. In a certain sense, this is a good thing for you. If you feel comfortable with the site structure and your match feels comfortable you already have a certain similarity in how you think and work. The closer you get to similar thought patterns the fewer dating tips you will need.
Think about how the site is set up to do business. After all, a majority of sites are trying to make a buck. If the site is set up in a professional looking way and responds to your questions regarding relationship advice or match selections the site is likely genuine in its desire to match you up. If the site is a jumble of personal ads with little structure you may want to give it a closer look before you get involved.
Start by asking friends that may have used the site. Ask if they have had a certain amount of luck meeting decent people. If they have, you may have similar luck. Another option, although it is wise to be a bit skeptical, is to ask for testimonials. It may be difficult to figure out who is sincere and who is not but listening for pat answers or inflections in their voices may help to weed out the less sincere couples. You might also ask them for advice of dating when using the service. This is new territory for you so asking how the process worked for them is a good idea.
Does the site offer advice?
Dating advice, relationship advice or other tips that can help you along are good indicators of a site that really wants you to succeed. You are really looking for a partnership with the site as much as with a relationship partner. In many ways, it is a lot like interviewing for a job. If somebody offers advice you at least listen. You may not use the job or dating advice but every little tip could help.
What do you really want?
This could be quite a bit trickier to answer then you may think. Having an idea of what you want and what will work can be a lot different then what will actually make the best match. If a site offers a personality or matching test, be honest with whom you feel you really are. There is really no sense in lying to yourself and wasting everybody’s time in the process.
As I said before, about fake profiles, keep in mind that every dating site has not only fake profiles put by their webmasters, but also put by their members.
Nowadays most internet users are lying too easy about themselves in order to try look good. They post profile pictures of 15 years old, they photoshop their bodies, they copy/paste photos of houses, cars, and what have you, in order to show off even what they do not have in reality.
What do all profiles show on their front page? Their face. Nothing but their face. None of the dating sites shows profile pics of the hands for example, you know, those things that touch your body all over including your genitals. Hey, isn’t it important what the hands look like? And this is just an example to show you what is missing in profiles.
My final advice
Switch off your computer, open your front door, go outside and see the real world. Go downtown, anywhere, talk to strangers, and one out of ten you will end up with a new friendship!
Desktop living will make you ending-up with desktop results. Just fantasies and a dull life. And the day that you breathe your very last air, you will suddenly say “oh I should have done this and that …”. Too late!
So, dating sites? Despite of some successes, perhaps one out of a million, I say: NO!
0. The coming of the prophet 1. Love 2. Marriage 3. Children 4. Giving 5. Eating and Drinking 6. Work 7. Joy and Sorrow 8. Houses 9. Pets 10. Clothes 11. Buying and Selling 12. Crime and Punishment 13. Laws 14. Freedom 15. Reason and Passion 16. Pain 17. Self-Knowledge 18. Teaching 19. Friendship 20. Talking 21. Time and Space 22. Good and Evil 23. Prayer 24. Pleasure 25. Beauty 26. Religion 27. Death 28. Forms Of Existence 29. Real vs Virtual 30. The Farewell