First Date Success – It’s All In The Preparation
Dating can be stressful but first dates can be particularly painful and nerve wrecking. Follow my simple tips to getting ready for a date and before you know it you’ll be breezing through first dates with you’re only concern being what to wear on your second date.
1. Don’t stress!
First of all, try not to stress yourself out. Tell yourself, it’s only a date and if it doesn’t work out, so what?
2. Easy on the wedding plans
You may laugh but don’t start planning your wedding! We’ve all been there; dreaming that this could be the one, that you’ll fall in love after a whirlwind romance and get married… and all before you’ve ordered your starter! Obviously, it’s good to be positive but just take each day as it comes in the early stages otherwise you could be heading for disappointment.
3. Listen to music
Listen to some music whilst you’re getting ready; whatever gets you in the mood for a night out and relaxes you.
4. Soak in a bath
If you have time, take a long soak in the bath with a small glass of wine to relax you. I emphasise the word “small”; you don’t want to turn up drunk or smelling of alcohol.
5. Subtle make-up
Girls, try to keep your make-up subtle. The majority of men don’t like to see make-up caked on and if you do happen to snuggle up to your date, he won’t be too impressed if you leave make-up on his collar. As a basic rule, if you’re going for smoky eyes, keep your lips natural with a lick of gloss and if you’re opting for the red Monroe pout then keep your eyes natural.
6. Hair to go
You don’t want a high maintenance hair style that has you running to the toilet every two minutes to check it’s in place so stick to what you know suits you and what you feel comfortable with. Also, easy on the hair products in case your date decides to run his fingers through your hair and gets them stuck!
7. What to wear?
Don’t wear anything too revealing on a first date as it could give out the wrong impression. Remember you can still look sexy without revealing all your goods; less is more!
Decide what you’re going to wear in advance so you’re not in a last minute panic with a bedroom floor covered in reject outfits. The main thing is to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing so you look relaxed; fidgeting with straps and pulling down your hemline every few minutes doesn’t look good.
Your choice of outfit will obviously depend on where you are going; if it’s fancy restaurant then you can glam it up but if it’s a lunchtime date or the cinema then dress it down accordingly.
8. Killer heels or comfy flats?
As for shoes, heels look great but only if you can walk in them so only wear shoes that you are comfortable in. Also, don’t wear new shoes in case you get blisters on the night. Again, your choice of shoes will depend on where you are going so dress for the venue.
9. Fresh breath
Don’t forget to clean your teeth and rinse with a mouthwash. It may sound obvious but so many people forget. Also, keep a packet of mints or chewing gum in your bag in case you need to freshen up later.
10. Aroma, aroma!
Once you’re ready, don’t forget to squirt a bit of your favourite perfume behind the ears and on your wrist (these are the strongest pulse points). Don’t go overboard, the key is to have an aroma about you, not to overpower him with your scent.
11. Arrange transport
Book a taxi or arrange for someone to give you a lift so you get to your meeting place in plenty of time. I wouldn’t advise accepting any offer to pick you up or take you home until you’ve got to know him.
12. Keep the conversation flowing
Give some thought to what you’re going to talk about. Obviously, you can’t plan it word for word but think about things you want to find out about him and questions you could ask to keep the conversation flowing. If you know a good joke, it’s always good to throw that in at some point in the evening to lighten the mood.
13. A kiss goodnight – no more!
Don’t feel pressured into going back to his place or inviting him into yours and certainly don’t feel pressured into having sex! I think it’s best to end the evening with a goodnight kiss so you both leave each other wanting more and more importantly eager to arrange that second date. If you can’t trust yourself to resist his charm go unshaven in the nether regions so that way you won’t be tempted to go any further than a kiss!
14. Watch your drink
Don’t drink excessively! It’s easy to drink faster and more than you would normally because of your nerves but try and pace yourself and if you do feel yourself getting more than tipsy, drink some water.
Also, if you don’t know your date well take your drink with you when you go to the toilets; with so many drinks being spiked in bars these days it’s better to be safe than sorry.
15. Tell a friend
Tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who with and let them know when you’ve arrived home safe.
16. Have fun
Finally, don’t forget to enjoy yourself and have fun!
First Date Tips – Getting Ready
Congratulations, you met someone you like (through friends, online dating services, on your own, or any other way…) and you are going on a date!
Here are some basic first date tips to help you to get ready to your date.
Apparel is of course the trickiest of them all, you need to look gorgeous, but as if it took no effort to achieve this look. Well, I have to break the bad news to you – no one can look terrific with no effort. Even those seemingly slobby rock starts invest hundreds of dollars in their designer’s shabby jeans, and in their well-trimmed bristles.
On the other hand, you shouldn’t go over the edge on your first date, or you’ll send the message of over enthusiasm, which may scare your date away.
So what to do?
First of all make sure you are clean and that you smell good. Don’t surround yourself with a scented cloud, but it’s definitely a worthy cause to use that expensive perfume that collects dust in your closet.
When it comes to choosing an outfit, you have to follow one basic – feel comfortable.
You don’t have to wear the most brilliant and expensive item in your wardrobe. The main idea is comfort, and when you feel comfortable you are relaxed and at your best.
Here’s a tip to women: surprisingly, men usually don’t care what we’re wearing: you are most attractive when you feel attractive, therefore you should wear only the things that make you feel this way, and not tiny dresses (or any thing else for that matter) that might make you feel too self aware and uncomfortable.
Finally – do not change anything too drastic in your appearance before the date. Clearly when you got yourself a date, your partner already liked the way you look, so don’t try to change your appearance in order to impress your date.
Be natural and relaxed and you’ll be at your best.
First Date Tips – Things To Do On First Date
You are finally there. Feeling nervous and excited. It doesn’t matter who picked who, or whether you have decided to meet each other in a neutral place, the question is what to do on the first date?
The main concept of a perfect first date is to get to know each other, therefore, the perfect first date will usually involve a nice conversation and not some adventurous extreme activities.
If the weather is pleasant you can get some ice cream and have a walk in a park or on the beach or even sit on a bench in the moonlight and let the conversation flow in view of this romantic setting.
If the weather isn’t warm enough, you’ll probably have to stay indoors. Having a first date in one of your apartments can be intimidating for both sides since the guest doesn’t know yet the person he she are visiting, and can’t completely trust them. The host may also feel intimidated by the exposure and the invasion to his her privacy. Therefore, the most common places to have a first date are bars, cafés or restaurants.
Here are some basic first date ideas and guidelines to help you choose the most perfect place for your first date:
First –Noise. In a first date you want to get to know the person you are going out with and the best way to achieve that is by talking. Places with loud music, or even loud crowds, can cause you both to shout and not hear each other and spoil the date.
Second – lighting. Going on a first date you want to have some lighting so you can see your date and notice his her expressions and gestures. In addition, a dark place might create an impression of sleaziness that might ruin the atmosphere you are trying to create.
Third –Price. Even if you can afford an expensive place, and you’re planning to pay for the date, your date may feel uncomfortable in a too fancy place. First dates are stressful enough, don’t give your date another reason to be nervous about.
Finally, don’t go to a too trendy place. These places tend to be too crowded and, will expel the intimacy off your date.
In my opinion cafés are the perfect location for a first date – they are quiet, cozy, and allow you to stay for as long as you like without feeling obliged to spend an outrageous amount of money.
First Date Weirdness: That Awkward Silence
First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one’s mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears.
Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date.
Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward.
On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date’s feelings or make the conversation boring. This is because usually one is very concerned about one’s impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date.
One’s apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one’s thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one’s capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends.
As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as “awkward silence”.
Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one’s first date.
One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc.
Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it’s no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are.
Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion.
Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you.
Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess.
Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story. Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal.
Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you’ll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond.
Do not let the “awkward silences” worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you.
Relax and be yourself. When “silence” do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better.
There is nothing more intimidating than the idea of a first date, unless of course it is getting up the courage to ask for that first date. In fact, most of us will not even get to the point of asking four out of five times. So what if you finally get up the courage and, to your delight, the person says yes? Well, your adventures through the land of intimidation are just about to begin.
The agony of the first date begins when you try to decide what to do. The conversation often becomes bogged down right here- you do not want to choose a date that the other person will hate, nor do you want to choose a generic date that anyone could have dreamed up. Some safe ideas are the old standbys- a night at the movies, dinner in a restaurant with a few options (nothing too specific or risqué like sushi or Indian yet), a day in the park.
If you play your cards right, the conversation should lead you to a point where you both find out interesting facts about each other that will serve two advantages- the first is that you have a curiosity about each other, the second is that it gives an opportunity to plan and get a set time for the second date. This date is great as it allows for a demonstration of your listening abilities and the opportunity to expand your dating options into other safe areas.
Choose a date that will allow you alone time without adding the burden of too much privacy. This will allow you both to feel comfortable and keep the conversation flowing. Your first date should also include some good conversation starters as well. This is why the movies and perhaps a desert or coffee afterwards are a good idea. You can go to the theater and both of you can decide on the movie, and afterwards the movie itself should provide ample fodder for conversation.
There are several signs that the date is going well. One of these is laughter- if you are both laughing, the odds are very high that you are having a good time. There is nothing more rewarding than female laughter on a date; it means that you are in the door of approval. Don’t overdo it though, and don’t try to play for laughs. Understated humor is the best way to go. Time seeming to fly by is another good indicator of a successful date, as we never have enough time when we are enjoying ourselves.
There are some suicidal moves and places when it comes to first dates. Bars immediately spring to mind. Many bars are filled with juvenile minded people (mostly young men) who are seeking to prove their manliness to a public that is in no need of convincing by looking for fights. If you happen to be a big guy, you will present an immediate target. This will inevitably result in a no win situation.
Fights are a ridiculous behavior for an adult to engage in, nevertheless you may be forced into a situation where one cannot be avoided. There are lots of contingent consequences, including a possible loss of respect from your date and even charges. Bars also have the implication of heavy drinking, and your date may think you are trying to get her drunk to take advantage. If you both find out that you enjoy dancing, try to go to one of the higher class watering holes in your area. Otherwise, avoid bars altogether on the first date.
First Impression: Advice For That First Date
First dates are tough situations. Oftentimes, they can end up being painfully awkward. So what do you do?
What follows are a list of dating tips to help you and your date get started on the right foot:
– Try not to meet at each other’s houses and try to drive yourself. This is so that if you want to end the date early, you won’t be trapped. This also helps avoid the impulse to invite your date in or not. Also, having your own car means you don’t have to worry about your safety; your date won’t know where you live and this avoids a date turning into some bad stalking nightmare.
– Try to keep the date as simple as possible. First dates can bring on jittery nerves. Jittery nerves and complicated plans do not mix. Just make it easy and enjoyable.
– Men, try ending the date first and do it politely, though make sure that you show you’re interested. This will make you stand out.
– Women, don’t wear anything provocative or too sexy. This sounds like an old cliché but first impressions last. Your date won’t know anything about you except for how you look and how you behave. He will take you at face value and giving him the wrong impression on what sort of person you are is not something you want to do.
– Try and wear clothing that makes you confident and that you are comfortable wearing. It will be uncomfortable enough without worrying about that tightness around you waist or the itchy necktie.
– Men, try to be specific about where you are going for the date. This will make the entire affair more comfortable and it prepares your date for what to expect and what to wear. Wearing a cocktail dress to a fast food joint is definitely out!
– Ask your date about himself/herself. A healthy interest in getting to know your date is a good sign to show him/her. This means that you want to learn about him/her and think of your date as an interesting person. Remember, the most interesting conversationalists are those who ask about others. Great topics are work, hobbies and sports. Just keep it light and conversational.
– Try not to overdo the perfume or the cologne. Too strong and the scent can be quite distracting. It’s very hard to complete an evening out with your date dazed by the smell.
– Mouthwash is important. Also, brush your teeth and bring a couple of mints if you’re eating out.
– And always remember… have fun and be yourself!
First Date Success – It’s All In The Preparation