The 8 Reasons Why You Haven’t Found Your Mr. Right
By the age of 50 more than 1 in 4 women are still single. These 8 reasons explain why they haven’t met their man and what you can do to discover which reasons are preventing you finding your Mr. Right
The statistics, in this case, don’t lie.
By the age of 50, 27.6% of women are still single. That’s more than 1 in 4.
Some of them of course, are not interested in finding a man as a life long partner – and if they’re genuinely happy, that’s fine. Although it does need to be a genuine wish to stay single, not a once held desire to be partnered now lost. You’ll learn more about that below.
But you’re reading this, so I suspect you are interested in finding your Mr. Right. So you’ll need to know which of the following 8 reasons is stopping you finding him. Of course it could be more than just 1 of these reasons.
Whichever apply to you (or even if your reason isn’t identified here), they all have the same effect. If you continue to hold these reasons dear to your heart, you will not find your Mr. Right. Harsh – I know. But you’ll understand why by the end of this article.
However, if you are prepared to tackle the issue, then you really can find your Mr. Right.
So what are the top 8 reasons why you haven’t yet find your Mr. Right?
1. You’ve been burnt in the past by relationships and it’s just too painful to go out and look for another
Some women keep this reason so well hidden within themselves that they don’t even realise that’s their reason. Maybe it’s years since you split up with this partner, but you felt so hurt, so damaged by the break up that you just can’t bear to put yourself through it again. As a result you aren’t out actively looking for, or getting, dates on a regular basis.
2. Your self esteem is low
“Who would love me? I’m not attractive. No one would want to go out with me.” That’s the kind of things you say to yourself if you don’t have the self esteem you need to go out and get the relationship you genuinely deserve.
There are a whole host of reasons why you may not have the esteem – but the important thing is that the belief that you’re not worthy of a loving, caring partner is a serious block – which you can address.
3. There aren’t any decent men out there
This belief is commonly rooted in the first reason I talked about above; being burnt in the past. But there are other reasons. It could be that your standards are unattainably high – sometimes you set them that high to protect yourself from being hurt again or from being rejected. Yes, it is possible that you genuinely can’t find suitable men, but there are millions out there, it’s rarely solely to do with looking in the wrong places.
4. I just don’t have time
If you rise before the sun and you’re too exhausted when you return from work, it’s understandable that you don’t have time to go out and socialise. But just how important is it for you to find a life long partner? If it really isn’t that important, don’t worry about it, just keep going at your career.
However, if you still have that niggling feeling that you really do want to find him, you must change your routine to free up time to go out looking for and going on dates.
If you haven’t managed to put those changes in place within a month, there’s a bigger, hidden, secondary reason why you’re not making the time for it.
5. You’re concerned there’s something wrong with you
Surely it’s one of our biggest fears that we’re not loveable. If you put yourself out there and nobody wants to be with you, isn’t that what’s being said? So by not putting yourself out there to be rejected, you don’t run the risk of learning that message. In other words, by not taking action to find Mr. Right you can never be said to be un-loveable because you haven’t really tried.
The reality of course is that you are loveable. By the way, you may have spotted that this reason is very closely tied to self esteem again.
6. You don’t like the dating scene
Maybe you don’t like pubs and clubs – smoky atmospheres and drunken sleazes trying to chat you up. And what if you don’t like internet dating either? Lots of time wasters, losers and geeks. I always tell my clients that dating is a numbers game. If you’re chopping out all the high number options then you’re definitely making it a whole lot more difficult for yourself.
There are alternatives, just as long as you’re prepared to invest more time in ploughing through the numbers. And yes, you will always come across men you see as losers, geeks or sleazy wherever you go. That’s why it always helps to have a clear picture of who you’re planning on meeting – because when you’ve had another fruitless night of dating, you can always comfort yourself with the clear picture in your mind of your future Mr. Right.
7. You don’t believe you need to actively search for him
It will happen naturally. Won’t it? Well how’s that strategy worked for you so far? If you’ve been waiting to find him ‘naturally’ for the last 10 years, how many more decades do you want to try this as a method?
Searching for him doesn’t mean you’re desperate or that you’re breaking some hidden female rule. It simply means you get a lot more guys to pick from and you’re much more likely to find someone who’ll be perfect for you.
There’s a lot of historical social proof to suggest that your knight should just come riding in on his white horse. But I’ve got news for you – the horse went out as a means of transport in the 19th century!
8. You don’t believe you can significantly affect the likelihood of finding your Mr. Right
“I just haven’t found him yet – it’s just a case of waiting for the right man to come along.”
There’s a statistic published by one of the dating agencies at the moment that it takes 432 introductions to find your partner. Well you’ve already met more than 432 people in your life. There’s something you’re doing or something you believe that is affecting your ability to attract your Mr. Right. If you don’t change it, you won’t find him. Not because he isn’t out there, but because your actions keep him away from you. You may not know what it is that you’re doing, but be reassured that you can change it if you a) work out what it is, and b) decide that you are committed to changing it.
So those are the 8 top reasons. There are more. But they all have one thing in common. They are beliefs that affect your ability to attract the right man. If you really want to find your Mr. Right all you need to do is work out which ones are preventing you finding him and take action to change them.
0. The coming of the prophet 1. Love 2. Marriage 3. Children 4. Giving 5. Eating and Drinking 6. Work 7. Joy and Sorrow 8. Houses 9. Pets 10. Clothes 11. Buying and Selling 12. Crime and Punishment 13. Laws 14. Freedom 15. Reason and Passion 16. Pain 17. Self-Knowledge 18. Teaching 19. Friendship 20. Talking 21. Time and Space 22. Good and Evil 23. Prayer 24. Pleasure 25. Beauty 26. Religion 27. Death 28. Forms Of Existence 29. Real vs Virtual 30. The Farewell