The most common error in dating is the least recognized.
Usually, dating checklists, whether structured through dating sites or made-up by individuals. And all these checklists contain the usual superficial individual characteristics like color of the yers, hair color, body shape, length, weight, and so on. And then in the free text area of dating profiles the user is encouraged to wite about likes and dislikes. Again, superficial individual stuff.
One of the things important at the day after dating is the things or interests people share with each other. But it is silly to tick mark items of same likes and same dislikes. Why going for the same that is already there? You don’t want to accept anything new? Isn’t it the differences that make relationships so interesting? Or do you want to go for only what you already enjoy?
But the real big error is to totally ignore what the two of you are about to share whenever you share the same space and time: that which fills it.
Now, what fills the space – read: room ? Okay, a lot of things such as color, art, plants, etc. all visual in nature. Relatively easy to mask these objects by variations of light & darkness, and focusing on other matters.
But the biggest error made in considering a living together is ignoring the importance o sound. Music to be more precise. nothing is more disturbing than sound – music – that you do not like. And there is no way to get used to it because music is a very very personal thing, even within the same genre.
And another item that is most difficult to share is smell. Some people love incense or smoke, other people love odor sprays and cleansers, etc. It is impossible to escape scents, even when wearing a gas mask!
The point what I am saying is that “aetherial” phenomena – i.e. that which fills the entire house every cubic inch of it – are the most important to agree upon, otherwise there is now way to stand each other.
No headphones and no gas masks will ever to solve that problem, even though people believe they do but in the end it becomes a battle of ever decreasing tolerance. Each having a separate room is only a bunker in such battle.
When considering a relationship, living together, 24/7, well, make damn sure you can really naturally share the same aetherial fills in the space and time that you occupy together.
So, music is number one and scent is number two. Want to have a number three? Well, think of large shared surfaces and large shared objects. And there are several others usually covered in dating profiling.
I personally hate radio, news talk, radio and tv music, anything that comes from the speakers. I also cannot stand any music made by anyone in the house. I do, however, like to play my own synthesizers and produce some down-tempo tracks, and do that ever so loudly. Well yep, that leaves me pretty much alone. What the heck.
Date well and relate well!
0. The coming of the prophet 1. Love 2. Marriage 3. Children 4. Giving 5. Eating and Drinking 6. Work 7. Joy and Sorrow 8. Houses 9. Pets 10. Clothes 11. Buying and Selling 12. Crime and Punishment 13. Laws 14. Freedom 15. Reason and Passion 16. Pain 17. Self-Knowledge 18. Teaching 19. Friendship 20. Talking 21. Time and Space 22. Good and Evil 23. Prayer 24. Pleasure 25. Beauty 26. Religion 27. Death 28. Forms Of Existence 29. Real vs Virtual 30. The Farewell