08 – Communication Barriers

CHAPTER 8

COMMUNICATION BARRIERS

Any flow which has any power or potential can build up pressure or mass or charge if it is blocked and bottled up.

One of the most intimate and important flows to a spiritual being is the free flow of communication.

When it is inhibited or enforced, it can lead to protests, upsets, problems, compulsive behavior, and other ills.

But at basic the communication barriers seem to be made by choice. In other words, the person himself decides to go out of communication.

This means that you can push through the communication barriers by decision without consulting the why and wherefore. This can be done on the simple basis of volume. If you talk enough about sex, you will cease to be inhibited about talking about sex, unless of course, people start hitting you when you begin talking because that will give you a good reason to decide to shut up again.

This raises the problem of needing to talk safely while you are pushing through the barriers. Once you have knocked them down, you don’t have to talk compulsively, so you can use judgment and not upset people when it is inappropriate to do so. But to clear yourself of the inhibition in the first place, you need a wild and unrestrained outpouring that is generally unacceptable in ordinary conversation.

Where one person is processing another, they can simply have the person talk in an uninhibited manner, simply listening and encouraging the flow until the barriers come down.

For self processing, the only choice is to visualize communicating with people and write them long and uninhibited letters until you feel completely unrestrained in communicating. You write them as if you were really going to send them, but once you feel better, then you don’t actually have to send them. So what you do is you keep accumulating these letters in a big pile until you suddenly breath a big sigh of relief and feel that you can talk in a totally uninhibited manner when you feel like it.

And you turn this around as well, making up letters from them to you. You write them on their behalf and make them as wild and outrageous as you can. Because freeing yourself from inhibitions in this area also requires that you be willing to have anybody say anything to you as well as being willing to say anything to anybody else. The average person has communication barriers in both directions, and they inhibit others talking to others as well.

When you finish, you should not have any need to shock or overwhelm other people by saying things to them that they cannot confront. If you do have an urge to do this, then you haven’t run these processes long enough and you should go back and finish them.

Note that in this chapter we are only interested in getting rid of barriers and inhibitions to free communications. Positive skills and practicalities will be addressed in the next chapter.

8.1 The Body

Now lets write a letter to an imaginary person that describes personal and intimate details of your body. You should actually write this rather than simply thinking it in your head. Volume is more important than quality in this case.

Now write a letter from this imaginary person back to you which acknowledges your letter and then tells personal and intimate details about their body.

Keep writing letters back and forth. Include embarrassing details and things which you would not normally say to anybody. Cover personal habits, including bad ones, bathroom details, and anything else that comes to mind that is body related.

Keep this up until you feel that you could say anything in this area or hear anything in this area without it bothering you.

8.2 Sex

Now write about sex, both sex in general and your own desires and actions.

Again write letters back and forth until you are free about communicating in this area.

8.3 Social

Now talk about your inter-relations with other people, including work, groups, society, and any other interactions with people. Here you should include embarrassing experiences, things you’ve done that you wouldn’t want others to know about, things that you’d be afraid to say in public, criticisms that you don’t dare voice, etc.

Again write letters back and forth until you are free about communicating in this area.

8.4 Desires etc.

Now write about your likes and dislikes, especially things that you are reluctant to express because they are unpopular. And write about your desires, both base and noble ones. And write about any deep beliefs that you would be reluctant to express in public.

Again write letters back and forth until you are free about communicating in this area.

8.5 People

Now pick individual people who you are or have been intimately connected to and where there might be some inhibited communication. This can include parents, children, spouses, lovers, close friends, etc.

For each one individually, write letters to them and responses on their behalf where you express any inhibited communications or anything that you feel needs to be said, or any general discussion along the lines of 8.1 to 8.4 above. Do this until you feel that you do not have any compulsions or restraints about things that you could say to them or hear them say to you.

8.6 Professions

Now pick various roles or professions that people can be in which might introduce some inhibitions in your communications.

Pick things such as bosses, school teachers, policemen, judges, priests, salesmen, politicians, etc.

For each role or profession, individually, again write letters back and forth saying anything that needs to be said or has been restrained or anything along the lines of 8.1 to 8.4 above.

8.7 In a Crowded Place

Now go to a crowded place. Each of these steps is done until you feel good about it. If you do have trouble with this, do each step for a little while in rotation rather than bogging down on a particular step.

8.7.1 Spot individuals and imagine something you could say to each one. It can be outrageous or non-sequitur.

8.7.2 Spot individuals and imagine something that you would be willing to have them say to you. Again it can be outrageous or non-sequitur.

8.7.3 Spot pairs of individuals (not necessarily related or in conversation with each other) and imagine something that you could have them say to each other.

8.8 Real Freedom

This is the final process for this chapter. Do this until the last of the inhibitions blow and you feel that you can communicate freely.

The three commands are done in rotation. The emphasis is on spotting things that you are willing to talk about, but you shouldn’t be avoiding anything.

By this time you should be up to pushing through any remaining barriers by pure decision, but if something seems to hang there as a real inhibition that wouldn’t release, you can put this process aside temporarily and do some more letter writing on the area of difficulty until it is handled. Then go back and finish this process.

The commands are:

8.8a) What would you be willing to say to another?

8.8b) What would you be willing to have another say to you?

8.8c) What would you be willing to have another say to others?

8.9

8.9a) What would you be willing to read in another’s mind?

8.9b) What would you be willing to have another read in your mind?

8.9c) What would you be willing to have another read in another’s mind?

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