OVERTS, MOTIVATORS, AND WITHHOLDS
In this late stage of our existence, we often see patterns of behavior where one person tries to harm another.
We have been playing games of conflict and domination for a long time. Even those who embrace high moral codes are often in nothing more than a temporary period of repentance rather than any true abandonment of strife as can be seen from the vigor with which they pursue the punishment of others.
A truly high sense of ethics would include the acceptance and forgiveness of others, as we have touched on in the previous chapter.
So let us, for the moment, put aside the subject of one’s moral justifications (which will be looked in another chapter) and simply consider the mechanisms that come into play when one being harms another.
First there is the commission of an act which is overtly harmful to another or others. We are not now talking about the rightness or wrongness of the act or the intentions behind it, but simply the doing of it. These are often called Overts in Scientology.
Then there is the tendency to keep the scales in balance. One has been hit and therefore one feels that one can hit back. And so one claims that the harm that one has done was motivated by the harm that was done to one. But in insisting that the harm be balanced, one is left with unmotivated harmful acts that must be balanced by future motivators of harm that one feels that one deserves to receive.
This pattern of committing unmotivated Overt acts and then receiving subsequent Motivators where the same harm happens to oneself is called the Overt-Motivator sequence and is, to all intents and purposes, the actual mechanism of the Karma that is described in eastern practices. But we have a higher view of this mechanism, namely that the karma is not imposed from outside. The person imposes it upon himself.
And finally there is the withholding of the harm that one has done, the guilt and secrecy and the inward collapse that occurs as one withdraws from the community of others.
We will be looking at these things in this chapter, but let us begin by considering some underlying basics.
19.1 The Duplication of Reality
At basic, reality is nothing more than a shared illusion projected by the spirit.
But the separated fragments maintain distance and communication rather than total identification with each other so that individuality and creation may manifest.
But communication creates a duplication between the source and recipient. Each party could be said to be creating the communication within their own universes and bringing them into synchronization so that there is a duplication from the one to the other.
All of reality could be looked upon as a continuous communication from each of us to the others.
We have already done some processing in this area, especially in the chapter on duplication.
There is always some identification and synchronization between parties that are in communication with each other.
This also applies to physical communications. Whether you hug somebody or hit them, at the deepest levels there is a visualization of the reality and the copying of that reality between the parties involved. Both the source and effect roles are within the individual universes of both of the beings involved in the interaction.
This makes it extremely easy to feel an interaction from the other side or to duplicate the opposite role.
This is quite desirable if the interaction is one that is desirable for both parties involved.
And it opens the gates to hell if the interaction is harmful because the perpetrator also creates the victim’s role and vise versa and the two may slide down through time bouncing back and forth between the two roles.
Hence we have the golden rule of do unto others. But it is not merely the action but the entire experience from another’s viewpoint which one must be willing to accept. It is not whether you would like it from your viewpoint, but whether you would like it from their viewpoint, with all the attendant ramifications.
But we are interacting with each other all the time. These interactions do not necessarily persist and the duplications are not necessarily compulsive.
The monitoring factor is non-confront. When one is unwilling to experience the effect created, when one is unwilling to confront the opposing role, then it hangs there waiting for one.
As a first step, we will work with the positive rather than the negative aspect of this. Just as we did with recalling pleasure moments, working the positive aspect draws attention and energy out of the stuck negative points, weakening them and building up your horsepower so that you will have an easier time of it when you do confront them.
To begin with, run the following commands alternately:
a) Recall a time that was pleasant both for you and somebody else
b) Run through the experience from their viewpoint, trying to feel how they might have felt.
19.2 Other’s Sensations
The drill is to feel and experience things from other people’s viewpoints.
If you do not have a lot of physical contact with others, you may have to work this one gradually over the course of days or weeks as opportunities present themselves. But do make a point of doing it, even if you move on to the next drill for practical reasons.
The emphasis here is on pleasant interaction with others and attempting to duplicate their senses and impressions from their viewpoint.
You can do this by simply imagining how you look or sound to somebody as you talk to them, but the best effect is gained when there is tactile contact and you attempt to feel the contact from their side.
Ideal is to have a friend or partner who will drill this with you so that you can exercise a particular action repetitively. Simply shake hands or put you arm around their shoulder over and over again and each time try to get their side of the sensation.
You can also work this by petting an animal such as a cat and each time getting the sensation from their side.
A good masseuse or chiropractor will often do this instinctively, trying to feel the effect that they are creating, it improves their helpfulness and accuracy.
And you can do a bit of this covertly, simply trying to feel what others feel when you shake hands or whatever.
This feeling of other’s sensations is generally at maximum during the sex act. If there is care and feeling involved rather than simple physical lust, partners often feel a bit of each other’s sensations without even trying. If the opportunity presents itself, make a point of doing this consciously.
There may be a time when you felt that you harmed someone else. It may have been malicious harm, or it may have been an accident, or it might even have been done to protect others.
If it was non-confronted, it may be waiting in the wings. You might be primed to experience the effect that you created.
The simple solution is to confront it now, and to experience the effect in mocked up form. Once you have confronted it, there will be no further need for you to drag it along with you or to plan future lessons for yourself at some subconscious level.
Of course many things are not “charged up” at the moment. Much lies dormant. That is how you get away with so much for so long.
In actual fact this mechanism is not helpful and does not even improve one’s morality. The balancing retribution generally strikes at times so far removed from the original overts that no learning or improvement in behavior takes place.
If you have any qualms about undoing a mechanism of retribution, please realize that you will get much better behavior from somebody who can experience things from other’s viewpoints than you will from somebody who has been browbeaten by a mechanism which never did work properly.
Run this as follows:
Pick an experience where you harmed someone. Begin with light experiences, especially one’s that you regretted, perhaps an unkind word or hurting someone’s feelings. Work up to the more difficult ones rather than diving for them immediately.
Visualize the experience from the victim’s viewpoint, seeing how they felt at the time.
If this does not immediately dissolve with a bit of relief, then alternately spot your action and look at it from the other person’s viewpoint again.
If it seems to go solid instead of releasing, then look for an earlier similar incident and run it as above.
If the victim was not present when the harm was done, such as denting a parked car, then visualize how they might feel when they discover the damage.
If the overt was against a group or society, visualize individuals and how they might be affected.
Run through whatever harmful deeds come to mind until they cease to present themselves. Then go on to the next section.
19.4 The Victim’s Side
This non-confront and pulling in of the opposite side can also happen to the victim. People often dramatize what was done to them by doing it to others.
Again begin with very light incidents such as being teased or invalidated and gradually working up to heavier incidents.
Run them as above, visualizing the abuser’s side and confronting their viewpoint (which might be quite unpleasant) fully.
When an incident releases, you should be capable of confronting doing it but have no urge or desire to do it. There might be times when you do have to hurt somebody (fighting off an attacker for example), so you should be capable of confronting doing any action, but you should have no need or compulsion to do so.
19.5 More on Overts
Now for any area where you are having serious difficulty or getting into trouble, check whether there is some harm that you have done and release it using the process given in 19.3 above.
Note that this is not the only reason that things happen to you. All undesired effects are not due to your karma coming home to roost. And it is not the only reason for difficulty in an area.
But if trouble is persisting despite your efforts to confront or handle it, this is one of the prime candidates.
In general you should favor running the overt side in processing because it is at least causative rather than being at effect. You will also need to confront what has been done to you, but if you dwell on that too much you may tend to become effect of your environment rather than taking control over it.
Note that the majority of your environment simply stems from living life rather than being a pull-in of some karmic destiny. If you maintain a causative viewpoint, you have control and if you maintain a view of being at effect, you are prey to every ill wind that blows.
In withholding things, the being restrains his own actions and cuts down his horsepower.
Note that withholding something is different from simply not saying something. The withhold is an active restraint. You are under no compulsion to tell everybody everything under the sun moon and stars. But when you begin to work to hold things back, you hold yourself back as well.
There are a number of reasons why somebody might withhold something.
The first is from helpful intentions in the same manner as a white lie. One might, for example, encourage somebody who is beginning to paint and withhold one’s actual opinion of their first painting expecting that they will do better on the second one.
The second is for social reasons. One might have things which one does not consider to be harmful acts but which one considers to be socially unacceptable for one reason or another. Usually these are simple embarrassments or disagreements with society about what is proper behavior, but at the extremes these can be life threatening situations such as that of the Jews under Hitler.
The third is of course the obvious one of having done something which one considers to have been wrong or harmful and feeling that one must hide it. This one has the additional ramifications of guilt and retribution (discussed above).
But all three can give one trouble on the basis of withholding.
When you withhold too much, you will cut your own communication lines and, as discussed earlier in the book, cut communications lead to problems and other difficulties.
Also, the action of withholding tends to be introverting, shifting one into an “effect” viewpoint rather than a causative one, which leaves one at the effect of life instead of in control.
Furthermore, withholding is a pulling back and that tends to cause one to pull in motivators for one’s overts.
Therefore, it is desirable to eliminate withholding entirely. If necessary, one can choose not to mention something without actively withholding it. That is also non-optimum because it puts some restraint on communication, but it does not have the liabilities of a true withhold. And in many cases you will find that it is better to come clean. But it is best to get the charge off of the withhold first, because your judgment will be poor in areas where you have significant withholds.
This can be handled in a manner similar to that used for communication in an earlier chapter.
Get a stack of paper and start writing confessions. Do it in explicit detail. Address them to people or groups that you are withholding things from.
Cover anything that you might be withholding from anyone. Especially misdeeds, but even things that you think are justified or for other people’s good.
Continue until you feel that you have really told all and are hiding or withholding nothing. You should have a feeling of having opened up completely and purged yourself. Confession is good for the soul.
Then burn them.
After they are burnt, look around freshly at whoever you have been withholding things from.
Consider if it is now appropriate to communicate the various things that you have been withholding. In some cases it will be and you should do so to lay that matter to rest. In some cases it might even be appropriate to make some sort of amends or offer apologies, in which case you should do so.
And if it doesn’t seem appropriate and you feel comfortable about that and can simply drop the matter without your attention fixating, then do so and simply don’t originate the communication.
But if you feel withholdy, guilty, or have an urge to attack or make less of the person, or on the other hand have an uncontrollable urge to blab, then there is more charge in the area.
In that case, either the above process is incomplete and there is more to be done on it, or the missed withhold phenomena discussed in the next section needs to be handled.
Check over the next section first, and if that doesn’t clear things up completely, then go back and write more confessions and burn them as above. Then come back to this step.
19.7 The Missed Withhold
If a withhold is nearly discovered, it is stirred up. And if you are uncertain as to whether or not it has been found out, that stirs it up even further. In these cases, the withhold is said to have been missed. Somebody almost found it out (or did find out but you are not certain) but missed it.
This can cause one’s attention to fixate. It is one of the most troublesome phenomena in this area.
One may become critical of the person that missed it. This is not the only reason for criticism, but it is a common reason. One is trying to make less of the other person’s judgment and credibility because they might reveal one’s misdeeds.
Take note, if somebody suddenly becomes highly critical of you without apparent cause (you didn’t just wreck their car or something), you might just have missed some hot withhold of theirs. If so, your best course is usually to try to second guess it and attempt to make it safe enough for them to actually tell you.
As for your own missed withholds, if one of these is causing your attention to fixate or troubling you with fear of discovery, you need to handle it. And if this occurs anytime in the course of self processing, you should just take it up immediately and get it out of the way because it tends to capture too much of one’s attention.
To clear a missed withhold, begin by writing out what you did, including the exact time and place and what was done and anything else you are withholding about it. If there was direct harm to another, also confront their viewpoint as discussed earlier.
Then spot who missed the withhold and what they did that missed it. Repeat this, spotting who else missed it until the charge is relieved.
If you can’t get it to release, then look for an earlier similar missed withhold.
As mentioned in the previous section, once the charge is really gone you shouldn’t have to tell the person but it might be optimum to do so. Get rid of the charge first, because the presence of charge destroys your judgment. After it is gone, take a sane and sensible look at the matter both from your viewpoint and from theirs and evaluate what would be the optimum action.
We will be discussing ethics and morality eventually, but for now your best rule of thumb is to get rid of the charge first and then trust your instincts.